Pray like David Pray

Post written in English (purple version) and translate to Indonesian.
I will try to do it that way so it's easier for Indo people to read




Hari ini di komsel, aku sempat bicara dengan temen2 bahwa ketika aku berdoa, aku banyak gesture (body languange), banyak bergerak. Dan itulah salah satu alasan kenapa aku lebih suka berdoa sendiri, supaya aku bebas mengekspresikan diri aku sendiri. Tapi sebenarnya aku juga suka berdoa dalam komunitas dan merasa bersatu dengan semuanya. Tapi terkadang aku merasa aku aneh karena caraku berdoa. aku bisa banyak menggerakkan tanganku, dan juga menangis luar biasa ketika berdoa, dan aku menjadi cenderung lupa ada banyak orang di sekelilingku, seolah2 aku ini sedang sendiri.

Tapi tadi ketika aku sedang berjalan ke Sunter Mall, Tuhan mengingatkanku tentang Raja Daud.


2 Samuel 6:14

And David danced before the LORD with all his might; and David was girded with a linen ephod.

Daud berdoa dan menari seperti orang gila.
Dan Alkitab juga berkata:

And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.

Ayat2 itu menghangatkan hatiku dan membuatku diyakinkan bahwa sekalipun cara berdoa ku mungkin berbeda atau aneh bagi orang lain, tapi Tuhan mencintai hatiku.



Today at my cell group, I told my friends that when I pray, I have a lot of gesture (body language) and that is the reason why I love to pray alone, so I can express myself freely. But I actually also love to pray in the community and feel united with all.. But I do sometimes feel like I am lil weirdo with the way I pray. I can move my hand a lot, I can cry crazily and when I pray, I tend to forget everyone around me... like I am all alone..

Then while I was walking to Sunter Mall today, God reminds me about King David..

2 Samuel 6:14

And David danced before the LORD with all his might; and David was girded with a linen ephod.

David was praying and dancing like a crazy person.
And the Bibble also said:

Luke 10:27

And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.

The scripture makes my heart warm and makes me realize that even though the way I pray maybe kinda weird for other, but God loves my heart. :)

Our Christian Journey

I hope this little clip created by Kiro will bless everyone's heart as it's bless me a lot.
If you wanna peek more about clip created by Kiro, please visit here:
www.donghaeng.net
There's a place there to make a donation, too, to support the work of God that Kiro has done! :)

Matius 16:24-27
24 Lalu Yesus berkata kepada murid-muridNya: "Setiap orang yang mau mengikut Aku, ia harus menyangkal dirinya, memikul salibnya dan mengikut Aku.
25 Karena barangsiapa mau menyelamatkan nyawanya, ia akan kehilangan nyawanya, tetapi barangsiapa kehilangan nyawanya karena Aku, ia akan memperolehnya.
26 Apa gunanya seorang memperoleh seluruh dunia tapi kehilangan nyawanya? Dan apakah yang dapat diberikannya sebagai ganti nyawanya?
27 Sebab Anak Manusia akan datang dalam kemuliaan Bapa-Nya diiringi malaikat-malaikatNya; pada waktu itu Ia akan membalas setiap orang menurut perbuatannya.


Matthew 16: 24-27

24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 25 For whoever wants to save his life[a] will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. 26 What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? 27 For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father's glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what he has done.

Matthew 11
28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.


God never told us that our road will be easy, but He always said that He will give us strength.
Through my Christian journey, I had walk in so many hills, and also so many valley, that sometimes I though I am not gonna pass this journey, there's a time while I hate my God, and I feel that He not loving me anymore. And I feel lost..
But those who really accept Jesus as their Savior will NEVER forget the feeling of how s/he knows Jesus for the 1st time, and so does me. I do fall, but God never let me go..

Psalms 37 : 24
Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand.

and little by little... I feel enough of he lonely feeling I felt in those dark days.. and I decide to follow what my deepest heart say... that I want to be with Him again. I want to feel His love again.

I take a step by putting my son in Tunas Bangsa school, this is the only choice I make for my son, as I believe that at that school my son will have a chance to know Jesus and I somehow believe I will have an encounter with God again while my son goes there, even though I don't know how.

Looks like God heard the little voice my heart. Start when my son goes to Tunas Bangsa, my desire to get back to God getting bigger and bigger. I feel like I wanna explode with my desire. And I magically found a beautiful community, those who also looking for God and had missed a Christian community and we slowly make a cell group together. I start to take a step to get back to the church after 2 years. And my heart is hunger of His words that I cried EVERY week when I start to go to church (from 4 weeks ago).

One thing I know for sure, it is GOD Himself who put the desire in my heart. As with my own strength it's impossible for me to get back to God. It is impossible for me to be someone who "wants" God anymore.

At the 2nd week Eddy Margono said in the middle of preaching this scripture:

Hebrew 13:8
Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.

And those words grows in my heart and my tears start to fall.. start from in the middle the preaching till the end of the church, my tears can't stop falling down.
God reminds me how much I looooove Him the 1st time I know Him. And hoooooooowwww much I feel that He loves me! He loves me... and He loves me.
And while since I know God my whole life change.
The Lord who loves me 15 years ago is the same God who let all these things happen in my life. That is the SAME GOD. The same kind God, the same beloved God, the same beautiful God. He, who will never plan something bad for me... He, who will never let anything happen to me. He, who loves me so much that He wanna die in the cross for me.
During my darkest days I always told Him.. God I had do this and that... why on earth you let these happen to me? Why God? Why me? Why me?
And God reminds me... "you say you had do this and that.. don't you remember that I had die for you?"
I never stop crying... and the whole week after I heard that scripture I cried almost every day alone with no one knows. For me, my relationship with God is really personal, it's intimate that no one can touch that part.

And for the 1st time after years... maybe even after 10 years I feel that I am falling in love again with God. I can't believe that I can feel that again.
And again I know for sure, it is God HIMSELF who put love inside my heart.
Because by my own strength it is impossible for me to love Him like this.
And it's a different love than the love I feel 15 years ago the 1st time I know Him. The love I feel like know is somehow more gentle and mature.
I am falling in love again... and I am falling in love with my Jesus..

My problem is not finished yet.
My son and me is still struggling with PDD NOS, still fight the autism.
But I am no longer blame God for this. I am no longer angry with God.

Bukan karena kuat dan gagahku tapi karena kuat kuasaMu.
Bukan karena saya mampu, tapi Engkau yang memampukan saya.